christmas day

(circa spring 2000)


I
lie here waiting,
hoping,
pleading,
wishing,
and wondering.

If
things will ever
change,
if I’ll ever go to
bed happy,

Glad to be alive,
eager to see
the breaking light
of the new day,
that before me lies

If I could at least be
told how long it would last,
A date on the calendar
I could mark
and look forward to.

Like a child who awaits
Christmas,
counting down the days.

Without Christmas day
to look forward to:
I sleep,
and I sleep
to sleep,

I sleep
in hopes that one morning
I will wake to finally find it
Christmas day,
With my happiness wrapped up in packages
under the tree.