the blog of alex holden (poet, digital video artist, photographer, human) www.alexholden.homestead.com

Saturday, January 19, 2008

that feeling after cumming

(11-27-07 / 833pm)


ever since high
school

ive hated that
feeling

-its like a void

that hits you
right
after orgasam.

it makes me
feel
empty

it makes me feel
like
all the striving, struggling,
contemplating, coniving,
conning (of yourself & her)
cunning, contemplation
etc.

-all the work

surronding
obtaing the female that
just
helped you
have an orgasam
was in vain

-but not really ‘in vain’

more like:
a pointless endavour that led
no where,
and/or
a waste of time

-a mistake, to be blunt

folly, maddness
a feeling in the pit of
your stomach
that youve done
something
wrong

and at that moment
after orgasam
even the prettiest
of girls appears
grotesque

-all her flaws and imperfections

are all to evident
and glarring at you
hitting you in the face
and making you question all
your previous behavior
leading up to the climax
all that much more

-and at that moment

i guess all of the above
is brought to the fore front
of your consciousness
b/c
all the testosterone
(or some such chemical)
has been
released
from your body

-and at that moment

your are probably
as about as close
to being ‘celebate’

-that state of not wanting sex

as is possible
even more close to
that state
than a buhdist monk
or
catholic preist

-but thankfully

this state,
as described above
only seems to last
for

-at the most

30 mins.

i think this is called the
refractory period
but nonetheless
its a bitch to
go through.

and it seems to happen
everytime
i have sex

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